An Introduction

I did not experience much music or art before I was ten, at the very least I did not actively seek it out.
The story of me before these years is muddled and confused, and I'm not convinced of its relevancy.


I was predisposed to have certain reactions to stress and conflict, and in turn I have learned to only "positively" handle them by funneling anothers' emotions through a serious of electric firings traveling from my cd player to my speakers.


And so my story can be told alongside an extensive playlist. Every major emotional, physical, decietful event of my existence can be better expressed and understood with a detailed music history.


This is how I find myself with a playlist that houses both progressive trance and folk music.


I've recently been trying to pinpoint down why I have such a desire to write this blog. To tell the Truth. I was listening to Aqua by Moccio feat. Jorane when I got sick of the escapism. I still love that song, don't get me wrong. But after two years of not telling a lie that I lived from the time I was 15 to 23, I contacted someone from those years and told them a new lie, it destroys me. I felt such a rush getting a letter back from him, to hear such concern, and the high usually lasts a few days...and it might have this time except for one line that I couldn't seem to shake.


"Life is wrong. In so many ways, it's wrong. For some reason, I also believe it's right, but I'm not always sure why. There are so many layers to the world. So many lies. So much pain."


There has to be something right in all this mess I've created. There has to be some reason why I was driven to destroy the life I could have lived. Maybe something happened in the black silent indistinct memories of my childhood, or maybe I just didn't learn to grow up properly. But there is good in the world, and even though I have such difficulty admitting that, it gives me hope that something positive will come out of those white noise memories that eat at me in the silence of the night. Even if they are more damaging to the life I could have lived than these lies ever have been.


Aqua is much too positive for this post, so I'll leave you with a local up-and-coming band. Hunger Pains by Sparethelove | spoilthechild.  Their music is not yet on Itunes or Youtube, but I encourage you to go to their facebook page and give them a listen.